‘He doesn’t seem to care’: My secretive father, 81, added my name to a bank account. What about my mom?

The Moneyist

‘Neither my mom nor I know anything about their finances’

Last Updated: July 6, 2025 at 8:37 p.m. ET
First Published: June 23, 2025 at 6:02 a.m. ET

Dear Quentin,

I am a 49-year-old woman with 81-year-old parents. I am an only child. My dad has always been very secretive with their money, and my mom knows nothing about what they have or where they have it. I found a joint account in my and my father’s names. Nobody knew about this. I have told him multiple times how difficult it is going to be for me when he’s not here, since neither my mom nor I knows anything about their finances. He doesn’t seem to care. 

They’ve always owned their home and pay cash for vehicles. He made good money in the military. When I ask him, he says they don’t have very much, but unless he’s squandered it or given it away, there should be a lot. I’m just getting increasingly worried about how it’s going to be when he’s gone. I’m not good with numbers or money, so I’m afraid we’ll get taken advantage of by a lawyer or accountant, which is the only avenue to go when the time comes.