My life partner is 18 years my senior. He wants to leave his $4.5 million fortune to me — not his two kids. Do we tell them?

The Moneyist

‘No doubt they would feel the arrangement is unfair, and that would potentially end our relationship’

Last Updated: May 31, 2025 at 1:00 p.m. ET
First Published: May 30, 2025 at 5:24 a.m. ET

Dear Quentin,

My life partner of 17 years and I want to create wills. He has two financially unstable adult children. I have no children. He has amassed fairly significant wealth ($4.5 million) in the form of military and civilian retirement, 401(k)s, investments, inheritance, etc. I am financially independent, as I had a flourishing career prior to meeting him. We have robust savings and own real estate. I’m not nearly as “hungry” as his kids would be, due to our wise life choices. 

He wants to leave everything to me, excluding his adult children, as he knows they would buy a yacht and subsequently starve. One recently used rent money to go skydiving. He knows some form of “payment plan” from me to them would be more feasible. I’m not comfortable with the tax burden as well as the emotional burden it would leave behind. No doubt they would feel the arrangement is unfair, and that would potentially end our relationship.